Dead (Wo)Man Walking

Have you ever experienced being in a stressed-induced-dazed state?

When you're just walking around, deep in blank thought..

When you know that something is about to blow up, and it's just a matter of time..

When you know that there's money involved and you won't be paying for it in cash, but in exchange, you have to forego having peace of mind ..

Oh well, maybe not. Maybe just bankers directly dealing with client's money can relate to it.

This is the reason why sometimes I hate being in the banking industry. Specially since I'm in the service sector, where it's prone to errors.

In fairness to me, I have about 65% (or more) right to point fingers in this instance. But I'm not like that. In any situation, even if it's really not my fault, I would always think "Maybe I could have done something to prevent it. In that sense, I am also at fault." My conscience is driving me nuts!

Really, in banks, it's a dog eat dog world. You have to be tough, be fast(in pointing fingers) and be confident(when you point your finger) or else the blame will all be pushed to you.

Thankfully, my colleagues are doing that for me (because again, I did do my part, something just happened during the process). But still, I'm stressed about it.

To try to combat that awful feeling, I treated myself to lunch of juicy charbroiled burger from Carl's Jr., paired with natural cut fries dipped in chilli and salsa, washed down by cold lemon iced tea with fresh lemon wedges.

Sounds yummy, but I didn't enjoy it.